Edinburgh Fringe 2015 – Daily Blog – Day 14 (Day Off) – Monday 17th August

The Mandatory Day Off

After doing shows at The Fringe for 13 straight days, the day off, in the middle, is needed.


By this point in the run, most people have done 11 shows, but I always do a couple more previews before the start of the Fringe itself and can honestly say it’s going well and all of my friends seem to be having a good time also.



The crappy weather hasn’t materialised, we had a bad July in Scotland but, so far August has been great, with only one day of bad weather that I can think of.

And Edinburgh is Jam Packed with people making it easier than normal to get a decent sized audience.

The Big Finish

I have found that I also have an additional bonus!

On Friday and Saturday nights, if I time it just right, I can get my show to finish with a bang as the Tattoo fireworks at the end of the early show go off just as my show finishes

“Ladies and Gentlemen did you enjoy the show?”

Rapturous Applause (obviously)







“Thank you and Goodnight, I have been Raymond Mearns”


The fireworks go off at that precise moment!


What a great sound effect for absolutely no outlay.

Makes up for the fact I have to park my car in Livingston as you can’t get near the Grassmarket for all the buses full of geriatrics!

Treating Myself

Anyway, Monday 17th is my day off and just as ladies might book a spa day or get some beauty treatments, on my day off, I pampered myself by driving to Aberdeen (a 318 mile round trip) to buy a second hand guitar from a guy on Gumtree!


It’s a Gibson Les Paul Custom!

Now for those of you unaccustomed to the vagaries’ of Les Paul Customs, it’s quite a nice guitar, though a few years old, but in good condition!

I have always wanted to own a Les Paul Custom and now I do. I RULE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gibson custom





When people find out that I play the guitar they often ask me “if I ever use the guitar in the act?”, and I always answer, “No!”

They ask “Why not?”

“Because I am shite!”

And now that I have a Les Paul Custom that would only raise expectations if I stepped onto a stage with this beast strapped to me.

People would gasp and say, “Fuck Me! Look, a Gibson Les Paul Custom, this guy must be amazing!”

jimmy page

The Les Paul would demand silence. A hush would descend upon the room and the audience would stare in silence, so silent you could hear a tenner drop.

Only for me to ruin the moment as I start playing and make this fine instrument sound like a glue sniffer’s banjo!

People point out that Les Dawson was a shite piano player and he used that in his act, not realising that to be as shite as Les Dawson required classical training!

les dawson






Anyway, I insist that I am not good enough, I mean it takes me all of my time to concentrate on the comedy, let alone worrying about if my guitar sounds okay or is in tune.

Furthermore, I think that maybe the guitar would only confuse things as I suspect that if I did use a guitar in the act I wouldn’t know if, when the audience laughs, they were laughing at the quality of my comedy or the shitey-ness of my guitar playing!



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