Edinburgh Fringe 2015 – Daily Blog – Day 12 – Saturday 15th August

Getting to the Halfway Stage

It’s the second Saturday of The Fringe and this means that after tonight we have two more Saturdays to go. It feels like we have been here forever and still have a mountain to climb!

mountain to climb

Today I was visited by a lovely lady who produces radio and TV programmes for the BBC! She has cast me in quite a number of things over the past few years and today we had a nice long chat after lunch just Me and Her and Her Indoors.

Earlier in the day, Me and Her Indoors, were driving through to Edinburgh and we were chatting about esoteric things such as the meaning of life and how we are the architects of our own destiny and all that sort of stuff.


The conversation focussed upon how we, as individuals, draw misfortune upon ourselves because of how we presume we are perceived, In a nutshell, I have issues in my life because I think I am not likeable!

All of the psychobabble aside, my understanding about where this comes from is that I was very ill as a baby and never got enough cuddles so, it follows, I believe that somehow I never deserved to get them and have carried this core belief into adulthood (wipes a tear from his eye).

the couch

When we met the TV producer, the conversation resumed and I then had two women, one either side, psycho-analysing me, it felt like I was getting ganged up on!




It’s curious that when you insert a hyphen into the above word they become the-rapists, because that’s what it feels like they are doing!

Sadly, I can’t go back in time and demand attention from my parents to fix all of these things so I just have to live with it.

time machine





As I get older, I recognise the irrationality of my core beliefs and for the most part I am getting better at overcoming it, but it never quite leaves you and your buttons can be pushed, especially on-stage!

Those who stare blankly

The show tonight was brilliant!

I didn’t do any flyering today as I didn’t want a cast of thousands disappointed at my door, and so only about thirty were turned away, the additional benefit of this no-flyering policy also meant that the majority of people in the room had intended to come and see my show in advance and were, well, Fans!







You see I am likeable, Get it right up ye!

Anyway there’s always one!

At every show there’s always one person, normally a dude, who sits there in the audience and never cracks a smile all night, it’s eerie!







The other sixty-odd people are laughing their heads off and pissing themselves, they are all animated and extremely happy, except this guy!

This guy, who sat in the second row tonight, with a beard (I am not saying he’s gay and the woman with him was his cover) No, I mean he was bearded, but more than this his face was cast in granite for the entire performance save for two or three occasions where he smirked.

bearded man

And despite the hoots of laughter all around the room, this guy’s face is the only face I can see!

You fixate on that face and that’s the face that pushes your buttons, inside you are saying: “Oh No he absolutely hates me, he hates how I look and he hates what I’m saying!

God Forbid, what if he is a reviewer?

If he is, my wee Glaswegian arse is grass!


What you gonna Do about It?


I am going to forget about it and follow the advice of a lovely wee lady I heard at a gig four weeks ago!

I was closing the Sunday Afternoon, kids show at The Stand Comedy Club in Glasgow (I know some of you at this point are thinking Kids in Glasgow must be hard as nails).

Trust me, I do this show often and they are always a delight, but don’t get in touch to try and book me for your kids birthday party, it’s not going to happen!

Anyway there was a young lady, in with her dad, she was about four or five years old and when one of the other comics asked how she should deal with some abuse she had suffered on twitter about her looks, this wee girl piped up and said: “Just think nice thoughts about yourself and you will be okay!”

Aahh (sighs contentedly)





I think I will leave things on that nice positive note!

Have a lovely Sunday.


PS. If you are at all interested, I will be doing a radio show on Sunday 16th August called “Better Out Than In” on Camglen Radio 107.9 FM in Glasgow or on the web http://www.camglenradio.org/ between 2pm and 3pm.

I am doing it in conjunction with my good friend of many years Bob Cochrane who is a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist and we will be talking about Therapy!


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